an intern was asking me about this guy that I was seeing very briefly and when I said things didn’t work out he asked if it was painful and I was like “it’s always painful, some more than others” and glanced longingly in the direction of the kitchen straight up like the cheesy plotless soap opera my work life has become.

(Source: moriarty)


Porn is Too much. Someone could’ve eaten those apples, but instead you put them all in your Asshole? Who will eat them now? I won’t

posted 11 hours ago with 232,000 notes via obliviateyourface + reblog

my favorite activity is listening to my super conservative dad talk about how popular he is amongst the other super conservatives around the world on twitter because it reminds me that I have real friends and real hobbies

posted 11 hours ago with 1 note + reblog

(Source: theofficescreencaps)

the breakfast / lunch crew exhausts me

the dinner crew exhausts me too but the dinner crew knows I’m a princess and treat me as such and I’m allowed to make inappropriate jokes and talk about my sex life and love of drinking


who are they

(Source: tracksoot2)

posted 15 hours ago with 20,681 notes via jasminefountaine + reblog


me as hell

posted 15 hours ago with 9,604 notes via obliviateyourface + reblog

(Source: villainouscenobite)

posted 15 hours ago with 2,550 notes via jemmasimmns + reblog

ignoring a boy while maintaining the most beautiful smile / positive attitude bc he’s a spineless piece of shit who has nothing to support him but his goddamn ego